You Don't Know What You're Talking About
by switmikan74
Summary: Seireitei seems to be under the impression that Captain Hitsugaya has nonexistent hormones.


**Title: ****You Don't Know What You're Talking About**

**Pairing: ****HitsuKarin**

**Genre: ****Romance/Humor**

**Summary: **Seireitei seems to be under the impression that Captain Hitsugaya has nonexistent hormones.

**Notes: **I don't even know what I was thinking writing this. Omygawd.

**oOo**

"Poor Karin-chan!" Matsumoto blows a puff, pouting. She shifted from her lying position in their office to a sitting one, hands cupping her delicate cheeks. Hinamori looks at her with a probing stare, "What do you mean by that, Ran-chan?"

Gesticulating, she replies in exasperation, "Just the other day I saw Karin-chan in this modern clothing. When I asked her why, she merely said that it was too hot to run around in shihakusho! But I bet she wore those tank top and shorts to seduce Taichou."

"And what happened?" Interest piqued, Hinamori leans in. After the Kurosaki twins died at the age of twenty-three from a car accident, Soul Society has been more interesting with the whole legendary family around. Anything involving them is bound to entrance you to listen to the story. Especially if it involves her little brother.

"I followed them, Momo." Matsumoto looks about to cry in frustration, "Taichou didn't even bother to ogle her! He just gave her his haori! And suggested ice cream!"

Hinamori sighs in disappointment. She really didn't know what to do with Toushirou. Ever since she found out the existence of Karin when the girl was only thirteen, she had tried her best to stir her little brother towards the appreciation of opposite gender—or well, just the appreciation of the youngest Kurosaki. She, along with a number of people, had done countless of things to awaken the hormonal man within. Different sketches of Karin in varying degree of almost nudity (as much as odd that was) were posted all over Toushirou's room and office but they only elicited a blank surprise look from him. Against her better judgment, she had also bribed Yoruichi-dono to educate him about women. Although Toushirou went out the room hours later with a nosebleed, she found him frightened and dubious against the opposite sex instead. ("Blood!" He had shouted, "Blood comes out there. Oh goodness." And then he fainted.)

She just wanted him to be interested in girls. Or like interested in Karin. How would she be an aunt if she couldn't get him hormonal then?

"What if…" It was a thought planted by the new Soutaichou. Kyouraku-soutaichou has been invested on Toushirou's trysts—or lack thereof. And when they were quietly drinking their tea, he has spitted the idea and it just didn't leave her. She felt her cheeks warming, she squeaks, hastily covering her face, "Aphrodisiac?"

The bubble of laughter is expected. She knows that Matsumoto would burst out in giggles as soon as the word left her. She did find it funny too. But it's more criminal than she expected after it was left to air.

"Why is Ran-chan dying from laughter there?" Hinamori swivels to see Karin leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed over her chest. She smiles at her and honestly replies, "Well, we thought of giving Shirou-chan with aphrodisiac with how dead his hormones are."

Karin furrows her brows. Dead hormones? Toushirou? Are they insane?

"Are you insane?" Karin shudders just thinking the consequences if ever the two women proceed to realize their plan, "Why the fuck are you going to give him aphrodisiac?"

"Well, Karin-chan," Hinamori explains, "I want to be an aunt soon. But he's not even moving his ass to make a pass at you even after you two had gotten together. Kurosaki-taichou was even calm when I told him about your relationship. He just shrugged and told me that with Shirou-chan as your boyfriend, he is assured that you would never be touched!"

Closing her eyes, Karin counted to ten. She needed to be calm enough to process what the insane people in her life were prattling on about. They really don't know what they're talking about.

She adjusted her teal scarf before she proceeded to reply, "I don't know where you all are getting those conclusions. Toushirou is just fine."

Matsumoto stopped laughing long enough to cast a pitiful look towards their retreating friend. "Look at her." She says, "Long resigned to the fate of never being deflowered."

**oOo**

Karin irritatingly readjusted her scarf again, checking if the bite marks were not visible to the prying eyes. When reassured that they are hidden well enough, she continues with her walk.

She'd been practicing kido by herself, far away from the Tenth barracks. She really wanted to improve with it and her first plan was to get Toushirou to help her. But the damn man was good at distracting her and they ended up doing other things instead. He had been good at distracting her from her works since she was freaking fifteen. God, she still remembers her failing mark at history because the Meiji era reminded her of his touches instead of the information he was feeding her in between kisses and bite marks.

'Stupid Momo.' Karin frowns. If it weren't for her, Toushirou wouldn't have come barging into her room all those years ago with the intent of a hormonal teenager. Who was she to refuse him when he's just too good with his hands? 'How the hell did she manage to sketch those compromising drawing of me anyway?'

Pausing, her lips dip down even farther, "Why the fuck would they want to give him aphrodisiac? Do they want me to limp for a month?"

Contrary to the popular belief that Toushirou is lacking any hormones, Karin can vouch that he has a lot (_like a lot_) of them in store. If they knew when their tryst has started, they would make them blush at how active they are. He is a perverted man, Karin grouches, a very, very perverted man. Just the other day, she woke up with no clothing besides the tank top and the shorts prepared for her. God, Toushirou did have fun with the ice cream.

No one would believe her if she told them. The damn man made sure that she's the only person in various worlds to know.

"Karin."

She sighs at the source of the voice. Turning, she is presented by the sight of her boyfriend of many, many years. Toushirou stood like the regal person people think of him. She almost snorts at the lie.

"Toushirou." She inclines her head in a nod. Toushirou's lips lift in a shallow smirk, eyes twinkling, "Still visible?"

"As if they would disappear as fast as I wanted them to." Karin never pouts but she feels like she's on the verge of it, "Why the hell do you have an obsession of biting me?"

Toushirou's smirk widens, "It just reminds me that I can bite you as much as I like. It's too bad that the shihakusho hides the ones under."

Teal eyes shamelessly stare down. Even though Toushirou has been giving her that stare for years, she still has the instinct of feeling self-conscious. He has the kind of probing that makes you want to be at your best physique somehow. Karin knows that he appreciates her beyond mere physicals but sometimes, she just can't grasp the idea that this man is hers—has been hers for the past two decades and still sports the same expression that he held when she was sixteen and they had been too high in adrenaline to stop from merely second base.

"If people could just hear you talk, they would stop trying to give you aphrodisiac." Karin retorts, eyes rolling. Toushirou hums and closes the distance between them. Before she could say another word, she was lifted in a hold and disappeared from where they were standing.

**oOo**

"Toushirou…"

Breathily, Karin hears herself pants. She is cornered in their quarters, the table in their kitchen supporting her back as she is pressed into submission. Toushirou lowers his head, leaving kisses from her lips to her neck. She could feel her heart flutters anxiously, stopping altogether for a moment when Toushirou's hands found their way to her breast and her inner thigh.

Toushirou smiles against her skin as she moans and he kneads her breast. Parting her legs, Toushirou adjusted his position enough to press his need against hers. Karin grinds, effectively eliciting harsh groans from him.

"This is the third time today." She panted, eyes staring lewdly at her partner. "Are you sure you aren't under aphrodisiac?"

"My," Toushirou bits the skin just under her breast, she arches at the touch. "Would I ever cheat in our game?"

Karin laughs despite the situation they were in. They're past the point of ever ruining the mood. She found out that they really can't be turned off when they already started.

"I'm just making sure." Slyly, she snakes her hands down to undo his sash and skillfully removing his shihakusho. "You know… people still think that you're some little boy with little knowledge of opposite sex. I heard you have no hormones yet."

"Really?" Toushirou sucks at the juncture of her shoulders. She inclines her head more for space, hands nimbly caressing her lover's toned stomach. She makes a noise half between a grunt and a moan, "Yes."

Pushing her weight on her elbow to lift herself, Karin eagerly switches their position. She stares down at the awed expression of Toushirou, his eyes growing more lustful. Karin smirks. He denies it with the rest of the world but he loves being overpowered by women—well, his definition of women all boils down to her alone so she does not worry much with his surprising kink.

"I wonder what will my trusting brother do if he found out that you deflowered his innocent baby sister when she was only sixteen." She purrs against his ears making his blood go south from the action more than the words. Toushirou chuckles, "I won't worry much. He'll be too shock to even move a muscle. And even when your brother finally attacks me, I'm sure I'll do fine."

"Aww, babe." Karin mocks, "That's what I love about you, your confidence."

"I'm sure you love me more than that." His voice was calm but she knows that he is at the edge of his control, hands restlessly roaming her thighs as she grasps for that delicious limb that he possesses, "Isn't your past time having sex with me?"

"Isn't it yours?" She blows him a kiss, before chuckling to herself, "And here is Seireitei thinking your hormones are nonexistent. If they knew the amount of times you lied your way to the World of the Living to have me or the number of times we did it in a rather public area after I came here permanently, they'll be trying to stop you instead of gearing you more."

Karin settles right above his shaft and Toushirou waits in anticipation. Menacingly lustful, he grins charmingly, "They really don't know what they're talking about, huh?"

And groans as she drops herself to a steady pace.

"They really don't."

**Fin**


End file.
